


In All the Stations, In All the Worlds

by teacuptribbles



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Bottom Garak (implied), Breaking Up & Making Up, Casablanca References, Fluff and Angst, M/M, POV Julian, Polyamory, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-05-05 08:15:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14613795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teacuptribbles/pseuds/teacuptribbles
Summary: A year after the end of the Dominion War, Dr. Julian Bashir is bored and unfulfilled on DS9.  One day his former lover arrives at the station with his husband, a known Cardassian dissident.  They ask for Julian's help in rebuilding their post-war homeworld.  (post-canon Casablanca adaptation)





	In All the Stations, In All the Worlds

**Author's Note:**

> While this doesn't exactly fit into the post-DS9 universe crafted by Star Trek novelists, I borrowed elements from them, especially the excellent novels by Una McCormack. In addition, I adapted some of the most iconic Casablanca scenes, so some of the dialogue is either directly taken from the film or slightly altered. Rather than neatly fit our boys into Casablanca roles, I made adjustments as I saw fit. I hope you enjoy!

Julian Bashir spent a good deal of time alone.

It was not a life he would have chosen for himself.Solitude was not a natural state for him.He had a habit of collecting people wherever he went, people who were fun and interesting and challenging, but he only allowed the attachments to develop to a certain point.There was much he was not prepared to share, not yet, and not again.   


Early in his life, Julian developed a voracious appetite for literature.In reading, he could give the characters voices and motives beyond what was on the page, and that somewhat met his need for interaction.Ever since the war, however, he found he did not enjoy reading as he once did.  


Some days it seemed like his only true friend was Quark, the Ferengi bartender who had also made his home on the once Cardassian outpost of Terok Nor and the now Federation station of Deep Space Nine.Quark had known Julian a long time.He knew Julian’s ambitions, his moodiness, and his secrets (even though they were often not quite true).  


The two of them were the only pre-war relics left on the station.  Julian's former captain Benjamin Sisko was still MIA.Colonel Kira Nerys had returned to her homeworld, as had the former security chief and confidante Odo.  His best friend, Miles O’Brien, had returned to Earth to teach at Starfleet Academy.Ezri Dax had taken an assignment far away from the memories on Deep Space Nine—and Julian.   


Though he was loathe to admit it to himself, the war and the first few months in its wake had been thrilling.In trauma, his skills as a physician were truly tested.To treat or to aid in a painless death—it was his call.Gone limbs, collapsed lungs, multisystem organ failure, all in different species with different physiologies, different colors of blood.He had learned more in those years than he could likely ever learn again, and now that the terror had worn off he found himself horrified at his nostalgia for it.  


Because life was a tad...boring now.In beating back the Dominion, the Alpha Quadrant was in a unified stability.Most of his work was in research.He wrote a lot of papers.So many damn papers.  


Of course, research was what advanced the career of a physician in Starfleet, and it was where his future accolades lie.So he stayed on Deep Space Nine, going to Quark’s on his breaks to shake off the cold and quiet of the medical lab.  


 _You could have gone to Cardassia._ The thought made its uninvited appearance at least once a day, and Julian had to push it back with the string of rationales he was growing wary of.Some days the desire was hard to suppress, and he spent his time trying to shake off the temptation and discomfort the thought brought him.  


One evening, drinking a tall ale that Quark kept on tap for him, he heard the voice of Vic Fontaine ring out from over the speakers.Vic Fontaine was a crooner from his Rat Pack-inspired holosuite program, another indulgence he had lost interest in after the war.He had kept a few recordings for memory’s sake.  


_You must remember this_   


Julian peered around with a start.He was certain he had erased _this_ file.  


_A kiss is just a kiss_   


_A sigh is just a sigh_

He saw Quark returning to the bar with an empty tray and rushed out of his seat to step in front of him.“I thought I asked you never to play that song again.”  


When he saw the abashed look on Quark’s face, he felt sorry for his tone.Quark avoided making eye contact with him.“Doctor Bashir…Julian.I think you should just go to the table in the back, behind the large Klingon party.”A tilt of his large bare head told Julian where to go.   


Julian’s throat threatened to close up as Quark’s words settled.Before the anxiety fully took hold, he decided he had to be mistaken.He followed Quark’s suggestion to the back of the bar.  


He stopped in his tracks when he saw those blue-gray eyes looking at him from the table.They were shining and smiling at him.  


_Moonlight and love songs_   


_Never out of date_

He looked the same.Maybe he had gained a bit of muscle?He looked healthier than the last time he had seen him, despite the odds.He looked good.He looked—  


“Hello, Doctor.”  


That voice, so light, so teasing as it had always been. _Say something, Julian, for God’s sake._  


Julian swallowed. _Something clever, or else he has you._ “Of all the _kanar_ joints…”  


The brow ridges above the eyes rose.“I beg your pardon?”   


_Being coy now, are we?Or have you really forgotten the time I forced you to watch that movie?_   


“It is…good to see you, Garak.”  


He was embarrassed that it was all he could manage, but did it ever feel right to have that name in his mouth again.  


Garak nodded at him, the smile never leaving his face.“It is good to see you too, dear.”  


_Hearts full of passion_   


_Jealousy and hate_

Julian could have slapped him as easily as he could have kissed him.Every unsaid word raced in his head, wanting to be the first one spoken.  


He heard footsteps coming up behind him.Garak gestured to the man who came into Julian’s view.“Doctor, this is Kelas Parmak.”  


Parmak was tall and long-legged, with braided salt-and-pepper hair and a somewhat boyish look to his face.Yes, Garak certainly had a type.  


Parmak smiled warmly.“It is nice to finally meet you, Doctor Bashir.”He reached out his palm.  


Julian pressed his palm to Parmak’s in the customary Cardassian greeting.“Julian, please.And the pleasure is mine.I’m a fan of your work.”  


“ _My_ work?,” Parmak asked, incredulous but not sarcastic.“Your studies on changeling mitosis have put you on the fast track for a Carrington, as I understand it.”  


Garak leaned in Parmak’s direction.“Doctor Bashir is already known to the Federation Medical Council, having been nominated for that award a few years ago.”  


Julian’s cheeks burned as he tightened the grip on his beer.“I’ve been very lucky.But if anyone deserves such prestige, it’s you.You and all the physicians working on Cardassia Prime.You are doing the real medicine.”  


Taking the _kanar_ bottle in his hand, Garak topped off his glass with the blue liquid and did the same for Parmak.“I wondered if you would be the same.It seems not.I do not remember you being so unpretentiously humble.”He paused, as though anticipating a reaction from Julian.When he received none, he asked, more gently, “When was the last time we saw each other?”  


With his exceptional memory, Julian could have answered that question down to the minute.Instead, he pretended to ponder as he ran his thumb over the side of his glass.“The day after the Dominion pulled out of Cardassia Prime.”He glanced up.“You were wearing a gray and black jumpsuit, identical to the one you’re wearing now.”  


Garak smiled wistfully.“Yes.  This is a standard Cardassian uniform.I have no more time for tailoring now than I did before the Fire.Though I suppose I am still fighting, just a longer, less defined battle.”   


At that Parmak nodded and turned to face Julian.“I do not mean to meet you and immediately impose, but we came to ask for your assistance.”  


“By all means.”Julian meant it.He never could turn down a request for help.  


“We haven’t made much progress in radiation treatment, I’m afraid,” Parmak began, his voice already straining, “The long-term effects have been more severe than we ever predicted.Severe and insidious.A year later, people who were minimally exposed to radioactive material are developing lethal blood cancers.We’re seeing the first group of infants born to Fire survivors, and with them new birth defects.Considering how many medical personnel and facilities we lost, this has been a monumental challenge, even with Federation aid.”  


Julian nodded understandingly as Parmak spoke.He could hear the stress and grief in his voice.It was the stress and grief of a man taxed with finding solutions in an impossible situation.“With our traditional methods failing us, I have started to look at gene therapy.If we could strengthen the Cardassian body’s ability to recognize and repair mutated DNA, we could greatly reduce cancer rates.I’m particularly interested in Vulcan tumor suppression genes.”  


“Why ask me?” _That was not the smartest thing you've ever asked.You know why._  


Parmak straightened his back against the chair uncomfortably.Julian decided to spare him the awkwardness.“I’m sorry, Parmak, but you’re talking about augmentation, which is strictly prohibited by the Federation.”  


Garak huffed.“Really, Doctor?I think _augmentation_ is a little overdramatic—“  


Parmak raised his hand.It was the first time Julian could recall seeing Garak effectively hushed.“No, it is augmentation.I could sit here and talk about therapies and treatment, but the goal is to change the Cardassian genome.It is the only way to secure the health of future generations.Without altering how our physiologies respond to radiation, the rate of death may outpace the rate of radiation cleanup.”  


“Rendering us _extinct_ , Doctor.”Garak considered Julian with hard eyes.  


Julian shook his head.“That is a possibility, but it’s slight.Federation methods of containing radiation improve every day.”  


“Ah!A _slight_ possibility of extinction.Why do I not find that comforting?Perhaps because we are already an endangered species?Frankly, I can’t help but feel this has something to do—“  


“Enough, Elim.”Parmak reached out and placed a steadying hand on Garak’s shoulder. 

“I’m sorry, I really am.But I can’t help you with any research of this nature,” Julian said, bracing for the inevitable appeal to his past, to his own altered DNA.  


But Parmak only smiled.It was a regretful, resigned smile, but a smile nonetheless.“I understand.Thank you for your time, I know it’s getting late.”  


The three of them stood to leave.Julian and Parmak pressed their palms together again.When Julian turned to Garak, they stood stiffly, unsure of what to do, and settled on a polite nod. 

***

Julian stared into his drink as Quark shut down business for the evening.

"You doing alright?,” Quark asked as he restocked the shelves.Julian didn’t reply.Though he was only buzzed, he leaned heavily on the bar, watching the bubbles that formed the white head on the top of his beer.  


"I know this is obvious, but Garak is trouble.This can’t be good for you.”  


“Never was,” Julian mumbled into his sleeve.He knew that wasn’t completely true, but the truth was thoroughly more painful.   


As Quark did his last organizing for the night, the sound of Julian’s palm slapping the counter startled him.He turned around to see Julian clutching the sides of his head.“Why didn’t he comm me?A sane person would have called first!”  


Quark shrugged.“Isn’t it obvious?He didn’t want to give you the chance to turn him away.”  


“Everything on his schedule.”Julian drew circles with the beads of water that had formed on his glass.  


“You could go on vacation.If you don’t have the leave the Risa program is still available for you.”  


Julian thought about it before shaking his head.“Maybe.I don’t know.Could you leave me the bar tonight?I’ll pay you for whatever I drink and whatever holosuite time I use.”  


Quark considered him and sighed.“Alright, just this once, since you had a rough day.Don’t leave me a mess for tomorrow.”  


Julian forced a smile.“Deal.”  


As Quark turned to leave, Julian called for him.“Put the song on before you go, please.”  


“What song?”  


“You know the one.”  


“Doctor—“  


Julian swung the pivoting chair around to face Quark.He looked very tired.“If he can stand to hear it, I should be able to.”

Quark frowned.“Computer, play ‘As Time Goes By,’ the Fontaine recording.”  


In the Ferengi’s sleek green eyes, Julian saw pity but was too exhausted to fight against it.He only assured Quark that he would be fine and the bar would be intact in the morning.  


He did not know why exactly he had asked this favor.The closed bar was no less lonely than his quarters or the lab, and replicated booze was free.Maybe he would visit Vic Fontaine’s club and talk about Garak to any poor hologram who would listen.Maybe he would brave doing a spy program again.   


Either way, he was going to get stupid drunk.   


_It's still the same old story_

_A fight for love and glory_

_A case of do or die_

_The world will always welcome lovers_

_As time goes by_

_***_

The next evening his door chimed, as he had anticipated it would.He had taken a long overdue day off to nap away his hangover and try to ignore the inevitability of this moment.His heart kicked against his sternum.He remained sitting on his couch for a moment, taking deep, careful breaths through his nose.Then he told his visitor to come in.

Garak entered, cradling a bottle of _kanar_ with a bright pink bow tied around its neck.He flashed Julian a smile and extended the bottle to him.“I assume you haven’t had decent _kanar_ for a while."   


Julian didn’t look at him.He wasn’t ready.“I lost the taste for it.”  


There was a pause before Garak set the bottle on the coffee table in front of Julian.He took the seat across from him.“You can learn to enjoy it again.”  


Julian interlaced his fingers and brought them up to support his chin.He raised his eyes to look at Garak.  


He saw the expression change on Garak’s face.It was subtle, but after seeing it so often, Julian was expert at detecting it.It was the expression Garak made whenever they made eye contact.Garak’s own eyes widened, tender and glistening, almost adoring. He seemed to stop breathing, just for a moment.    


_What color do you consider your eyes?Hazel?Sometimes I settle on that, then other times they are so obviously olive green._   


_Garak, you’re embarrassing me._   


_You, embarrassed?I don’t believe that for a second._   


Garak leaned forward.“Kelas’ work—“  


“You really don’t have any shame, do you?”Julian crossed his arms, trying to temper the anger that had been growing within him for a long time.  


Julian watched as Garak inhaled, keeping grip on his calm.“Never have, my dear Doctor.You know that.But I am struggling to understand the animosity with which I am being received.”  


“You have got to be joking!”Julian’s blood was suddenly very hot, and he couldn’t stand to sit any longer.The words he had held within him found themselves on his tongue.“A year of nothing.No messages, no calls.I was hopeful for the first six months, then I thought you had to be dead.”  


Garak crossed his legs.  “Well, building a democratic society from scraps  _does_ have a tendency to absorb all of one’s attention, and communication _does_ work both ways.”  


Julian’s figure slumped in exasperation.“You honestly think I didn’t try?”  


“When I left you were rather preoccupied with Dax, again.”  


Julian’s face hardened.“Don’t start with that.You were the one who wanted us to be discreet.Jadzia was the only person on the station who knew about us—“  


“And thus Ezri, and apparently Quark,” Garak added, his tone bitter.  


Julian threw up his hands.“Forgive me for needing someone to confide in.I-I don’t know why I’m defending myself to you, when you showed up out of the blue with Parmak.Parmak, for God’s sakes!”  


Garak stood and approached Julian.Julian could see the tears he was trying to contain.“I thought he was dead.All of those years of exile believing my husband was dead and it was my fault.You can’t begin to know what that felt like.Or what it felt like to know he had been tossed in a labor camp under a false identification, to be tortured and overworked and starved with no one looking for him.What a lovely gift from my father.”  


When Garak’s voice broke—and it did break, quietly—Julian stepped away, his anger cooling.“I’m sorry, Garak.”  


Garak turned away and leaned against the couch.“I know how you feel about me, but I’m asking you to put aside your feelings for something greater.My people are still dying.They are anemic, they break out in sores, they can’t eat, they waste away and die of minor infections…to read about it in a textbook is different than seeing it, Julian.Parmak is one of those patients himself.He looks healthy, doesn’t he?He’s in remission, but six months ago he looked very different.Yes, I never reached out to you and I apologize for that, but I’ve been rather busy.”  


Julian swallowed, his own tears forming.“When did you find out he was alive?”  


“Almost immediately after arriving on Cardassia Prime.He was one of eight people in the camp to survive the bombing.I loved you, I loved you dearly.But Parmak was alive.I had an obligation to him and to Cardassia.The thought of you was too distracting, and too painful.”  


Julian moved toward Garak and put a hand on his shoulder.He had never heard Garak speak so frankly about them before.“Elim…”  


“I have had many difficult days.I thought the day I arrived on DS9 was the most difficult day of my life, then came the day I left.”Garak reached his hand over to clasp Julian’s.“I never told you that I loved you.I should have.I love you still.”  


 _No no no Garak do not do this to me._ He couldn’t stop looking at Garak’s profile.His nose had the same easy, delicate slope as his neck.Julian loved that nose.  


And when he saw a strand of Garak’s black hair sticking out, he couldn’t help but reach over and smooth it against Garak’s head, and was happy to feel that his hair was as glossy and soft as ever.   


It wasn’t clear who initiated the kiss.  What was clear was that it was a desperate kiss, fueled by years of conflict and hurt and denial.In the back of Julian’s mind his sense called out to him, screaming for him to stop.   


He didn’t want to, and he knew he wouldn’t.The weight of Garak’s body against him again had convinced him of that.He was gone.  


Garak’s hands trailed down and framed that slender waistline he knew so well.Julian whimpered into his mouth.   


“ _Garak_.”At hearing the last syllable of his name from Julian’s lips, Garak guided himself to the bed, taking Julian with him.  


They were lost and weak.It was the fighting that had done it.The gall and ego they each possessed, the tension and illicitness of being together again.It was an old, familiar intoxication, and it had taken them under.  


It had been long enough that it was almost like the first time.The contrast of Julian’s brown skin against Garak’s gray, the hunger and desperation in Garak’s large blue eyes, the groans to not stop, never stop—it sent aching shivers down Julian’s spine all over again.  


When Julian bent down to bite the scales along his neck, Garak breathed out the same Cardasda incantation he always had.Julian had never bothered to translate it.Each night, each time, it could be whatever he wanted it to be.

***

“My God, what have we done?”  


Julian stared at the ceiling, his mind clearing from the post-orgasmic haze.Garak’s head rested on his chest, the rough scales brushing against Julian’s skin whenever he inhaled.He had almost forgotten what bare Cardassian flesh felt like.  


“Kelas and I have an understanding.”  


Julian ran his fingertips over the ridged side of Garak’s torso.“That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”  


Garak raised his head, his stark blue eyes meeting Julian’s.“You want me to stay.”  


“Don’t you want to?” _Careful, Julian._  


Garak reached out to push the bangs out of Julian’s face.He stayed quiet for a while, his gaze falling over Julian’s bare neck and chest, as though committing the sight to memory.  


 _C’mon, Elim.For once in your life be honest._ Julian almost let himself say the words before he thought better of it.He guided Garak’s hand to lay across his heart.  


The act brought a small smile to Garak’s lips.They looked into each other’s eyes again.Garak brought his forehead down to meet Julian’s.“How could anyone, even a man as cruel as I am, say no to those eyes?”  


Julian pulled Garak in and pressed his lips against his.After a few seconds Garak tried to pull away, but Julian kept him close. _Just in case._  


When they broke apart, Garak said softly, and somewhat sadly, “ _Please_ help Kelas.I will not ask again.”  


Julian’s eyes shined with mischief.“Or what?You’ll tie me up and gag me?”  


He relished the flustered look on Garak’s face, the cheeks turning a bluish-purple as he blushed.It was not easy to make Elim Garak blush.Garak quickly regained his composure and rolled his eyes.“Really, Doctor?”  


Julian placed his palm against Garak’s freshly warmed cheek and said the truest, most meaningful sentence he had ever said in his life.“I wish I didn’t love you so much.”

***

Julian found Parmak perusing the medical lab.In recompense for turning down Parmak’s request, he had offered free use of the facilities.While he suspected that Parmak knew his way around security codes, he also suspected that Parmak was not the type to abuse that knowledge freely.  


He had Julian’s comparative anatomy notes displayed on the large computer screen.When he heard Julian walk in, he turned around and smiled.“Ah, Doctor Bashir!I was just looking over your notes.You’ve been fortunate to examine so many different peoples.”  


“Call me Julian, I insist.And that has been a large advantage of working on DS9.”  


“Isn’t it remarkable that Romulans and humans can produce viable hybrids on their own, while Vulcans and humans cannot?”  


Julian nodded uncomfortably and took the seat next to him.  


Parmak had kind features and a relaxed attitude, neither of which were common among Cardassians.It was almost infectious, the _joie de vivre_ he seemed to possess after all he had been put through.Julian knew he had been a political dissident, a vocal critic of the military dictatorship, and thus an Obsidian Order target.And Garak had been the Obsidian Order agent who interrogated him.  


He did not know much beyond that, other than along the way Parmak and Garak fell for one another.He suspected, though Garak would never state it so plainly, that Parmak had converted Garak to the values of democracy, marking the end of Garak’s time with the Order and the beginning of his exile and Parmak’s imprisonment.

All of this led Julian to feel a great deal of respect for Parmak, despite how much more complicated it made an already complicated situation.  


He looked up to see Parmak watching him with gentle eyes.“I’ve been wondering: do you find this work unfulfilling?”  


Julian sighed and gave him a reluctant smile.“Honestly I do, at times.Is it that obvious?”  


Parmak shook his head.“I wouldn’t say obvious.I’ve just heard a lot about you.Elim talks about you often, he can’t help it.I know you two were in love.”  


A choke formed in Julian’s throat and he could feel his cheeks run hot.Unbearably hot.“Uh, well.I, we—“   


“No one is to blame,” Parmak quickly cut Julian off, his tone firm but not upset.“Except maybe for Enabran Tain.”  


Julian scratched the back of his head awkwardly, unsure of what to say or do.Eventually he settled on trying to lighten the mood.“I suppose none of your friends can complain about their in-laws to you.”  


To his relief, Parmak chuckled, the corners of his eyes crinkling.It occurred to Julian that Parmak was older than Garak.When they made eye contact again, Parmak sighed and leaned against the console.“It’s strange, isn’t it?Both of us in love with the same man, a man many would consider undeserving.”  


_I forgive you, for whatever it is you’ve done._   


The first handhold that led to the first embrace that led to the first kiss.The memory played out raw and real in Julian’s mind.He shifted around in his seat as Parmak looked at him.  


“I know he hurt you, and I don’t mean to make light of that.But I do hope you understand what Elim has gone through,” Parmak began, his voice now very soft, “He wasn’t on Cardassia Prime a week before the labor camp I was in was discovered by a recovery crew.I was already malnourished when the bomb struck nearby.I was a sick man when we were reunited; I couldn’t even remember my name on some days, let alone his.He had to learn how to be a spouse, nurse, and caregiver all at once.When I became stable, we had to meet each other all over again.Eight years is a long time to be apart.”He gave Julian a waning smile.“Keep in mind, all of this happened while we were living in a shipping container on the leveled remains of his childhood home.We have just been trying to rebuild a broken life on a broken planet.”  


Julian watched as Parmak blinked away tears from his brown eyes.The tears that would not disappear he wiped away with his sleeve.Julian’s heart felt heavy.“You love him very much, don’t you?”  


Parmak chuckled again.“There’s no falling out of love with a man like that.But my true love is Cardassia, as is his.”He gave Julian a pleading look.“If you’re tired of the lab work, come to Cardassia Prime.You will never run out of things to do.Even with Federation aid we do not have enough supplies to meet the demand.You will always be challenged.Last week Elim and I had to make our own mattresses for the patients, out of several pillow shams and _regova_ feathers.”  


Though it was far from the first time the thought had run across Julian’s mind, it was the first time he had seriously considered it.Emotional repercussions aside, it _would_ be rewarding, and a better test of his clinical skills…  


But those emotional repercussions were damning.  


He rolled his chair to the next computer and began typing.Soon he removed a data rod from the console and handed it to Parmak.“I cannot emphasize enough that you _did not_ get this from me.”

The words ‘thank you’ were just on Parmak's lips before he stopped and nodded.“Believe me, I know a thing or two about discretion.”  


Julian nodded in return.“I believe you.”  


***  


The sight of the packed bag on Garak’s table was completely unsurprising.   


When Garak rose to greet him, Julian stood still.“You’re getting back on that shuttlecraft with Parmak.”

Garak looked to the bag, one of his brow ridges tilted high.“Are you referring to this?It’s nothing, Julian.You know I don’t like to be caught unprepared.”  


“No.I’m telling you.You’re getting on that shuttlecraft.”  


Garak’s mouth pulled in a sardonic smile.“‘Telling me?’ My dear…”  


“If you stay with me, you’ll regret it," Julian said gravely.  "I’m all that’s here for you, and we both know that’s not enough.Parmak needs you.Cardassia needs you.”  


There was a plea in Garak’s eyes that seemed to say _What about what I need?_ But then, as quickly as the plea had arrived, it was gone.“And I have never denied Cardassia.”  


“No, you haven’t,” Julian agreed.“The problems of three people don’t matter much in the aftermath of war.”   


Garak looked at Julian with pride and deep, serious affection.“It seems I have taught you a thing or two about sacrifice.”He then moved his gaze around the room fondly.“It is odd.I was exiled here.This place was to be my prison.And then this bright, annoyingly handsome Terran decided to enter my life, and it became my home.”  


“ _You_ came on to _me_.”Julian corrected, and enjoyed the spark it brought to Garak’s eyes.  


Garak laid a hand on Julian’s shoulder, a gesture that had come to mean much to them both.“How could I not?You were so pretty, and so innocent.I thought you would be a fun diversion from the monotony of my life.”  


Julian lightly grabbed a fistful of Garak’s hair and guided his mouth to his.He pressed lightly at first, then beckoned Garak to part his lips for him by tickling them with his tongue.When Garak did so Julian pushed his tongue to Garak’s and brushed it and tasted it until he was nearly suffocating.  


They pulled their mouths away but kept their arms wrapped around one another.Julian smiled at the sight of the black mess of hair he had left on Garak’s head.Garak looked somehow annoyed, awed, and aroused at once.“And on that note, I have to say I severely miscalculated.What was that about?”  


Julian brought his forehead down to Garak’s, allowing for their noses to meet.Garak smelled of sweet liquor, that damn _kanar_ that had given Julian too many nasty hangovers, but maybe he could learn to like it again.He hoped he could.  


“Just in case that was the last time.”

***

At 0900, the shuttlecraft _Lakaria_ was ready for the handful of Cardassian diplomats and respite seekers it had brought to DS9.

Julian stood by the door of the dock, cordially nodding at the passengers bringing armfuls of snacks and clothes back with them to Cardassia Prime.In previous days, in the time of old Cardassia, this gesture would have been considered highly invasive and rude.Now when the strangers met his eyes, they gave him affable smiles.  


When Parmak saw him, he stepped out of the line to extend his palm.Julian obliged with his own.“I wish you luck, Parmak.  Honestly.”  


Parmak gave him a slight bow.“Thank you.I will need it, unfortunately.”  


“Perhaps,” Julian offered, “I will take you up on your offer.I have a few professional obligations to finish here, but I would like to help more.”The sentence was slow, measured, careful—Julian wanted to ensure he meant it.  


Parmak nodded.Julian knew he understood.“Cardassia was never great.The empire we had was built upon the backs of the poor, the Bajorans—it was never beautiful when one looked beyond the architecture and literature to see the bones underneath.But I hope, one day, it _will_ be great.You could be a part of that, if you would like.”  


Julian couldn’t help but smile.“I’ll be in touch.”  


At that, Parmak patted his shoulder kindly.“Welcome to the cause, Doctor Bashir.I’m going to board now as I know Elim is eagerly waiting for you.”  


With a last pat on the shoulder, Parmak departed.Julian could see that Garak had been standing off to the side, using his husband’s tall frame to keep himself hidden.   


“You’re going to keep everyone waiting,” Julian teased, the smile on his face broadening.  


Garak gestured to the maroon suit he had picked up on the station.“Good thing I wore something suitable for an entrance.”  


When Garak had left for Cardassia the first time, Julian thought he was prepared.He knew Garak would return home at the first opportunity; Garak _loved_ Cardassia in a way that Julian did not love Earth.Yet, when the moment came, it hurt.It physically hurt.He never imagined separation could be so painful.  


He knew better than to think he was prepared now.   


Quiet was intolerable to both of them, and he was grateful when Garak spoke.“If this were one of your base, saccharine Terran novels, an act of _deus ex machina_ would occur just about now to deliver us our happily ever afters.”  


Julian rolled his eyes.“I always told you, not all Terran literature is the same.If you need your daily dose of pessimism, turn to the Russians.”  


Something sad passed through Garak’s eyes.“Believe it or not, my dear Doctor, I think I’ve had enough pessimism to last me a lifetime.”  


Cardassians did not hug.It was an obvious, confining expression of affection that offended their need for privacy and personal space.  


But Garak had never been a traditional Cardassian.   


Julian took him into his arms and a surprised but welcoming Garak nestled his face against the tender, warm skin of Julian’s neck.They stayed like that for a while, oblivious to the passersby who looked at them curiously, heads turned.  


Garak brought a palm to Julian’s chest.“Whatever happens, my dear, we will always have Deep Space Nine.”  


Julian grinned into Garak’s hair. _Ah, so you do remember the film._  


When they separated, they finished their goodbye with rushed platitudes.Garak _was_ keeping everyone waiting, and neither one of them wanted to extend the process.The first time had been bad enough.  


When the doors came to a thudding close, the sound forced Julian’s exhale out of his body.He had no concept of how long he had been holding on to it.The warmth Garak had left on his skin began to dissipate.  


“These docking bays have a nasty habit of stealing the loves of our lives, don’t they?”It was Quark’s voice.Julian did not turn to face him, but instead kept his eyes on the place Garak had been.  


“The love of my life,” he muttered, too light for any ears but Ferengi to hear. _That's the truth, isn’t it?God, why did it take so long for me to see it?_  


Julian had never been friends with time.Every year his birthday beared down on him, a reminder that he wanted so much and only had a lifetime—no time at all.  


But he had learned in his medical career that time could heal.As time went by, people changed, matured, atoned, grew.Even the first sprigs of democracy had grown from the rubble on Cardassia.If time could bring about that, anything was possible.  


Finally he turned away from the doors to see Quark looking at him with concern.“Can I buy you a drink?”  


“It’s too early for me, I’m afraid, but I could go for a raktajino.And Quark, I think the Fontaine songs can come out of retirement.”  


They headed down the hallway back to the Promenade together.  "You sure about that, Doctor?"

Julian smiled to himself.  "I'm sure."

_It's still the same old story_   
_A fight for love and glory_   
_A case of do or die_   
_The world will always welcome lovers_   
_As time goes by_

  


  



End file.
